Have you heard a friend talking about wanting to go back to a situation that they once complained so much about when they were in it? Let's bring a little Bible into it... Have you ever read the Bible and judged the Israelites for wanting to go back to their old land when they were already on their way to The Promise land.
Yeah? Well me too. I used to say, what is wrong with them. God already had them going to somewhere that was so much better. Well I have eaten my words and judgement. lol
If you are not already aware, I was in California for about 2.5 years. Somewhere God told me to go and it was a wild rollercoaster! It was a lot of thrills but also a lot of chaos. God had me move this past spring to North Carolina. The last couple months I have been feeling exactly how the Isrelaties were. Constantly missing and wishing I was back in the place that felt more comfortable, in a way.
After much prayer and conversations between my closest friends I have gotten much revelation. There are many reasons why I miss Los Angeles. One of the main ones is the beach and predictable weather. I am def a DRY HEAT summer lover. I miss being around so many creatives. They were everywhere. I could go on. I was missing a lot of stuff and forgetting some of the really challenging things I was facing there on a CONSTANT basis.
My home in Cali became not peaceful. Between the constant spiritual stuff and my super obnoxious neighbors with thin walls. whew. TBH, There were times I was really going to get out of character. There were constant mini-earthquakes, the sirens from emergency service vehicles, helicopters and that darn window airconditioner. I was so on edge all of the time, it took me MONTHS to stop shaking over here. I was so overstimulated all of the time and my nervous system was like fireworks. It was scary to see the difference between a "quiet night" there vs in my place now. I don't think we realize how much our surroundings and constantly being overstimulated can affect our nervous system.
Sometimes, when our new season doesn't seem "perfect" just yet it is easy to get wrapped in what was. You know why? Because its easier to deal with the nonsense you already know at times. Having to face new struggle can be scary. At this moment, I remember praying for new problems. lol I was tired of dealing with the old ones, but now since I have new ones, I am like hold up a minute. Aren't we interesting beings. That story of their journey is really about trusting God more than themselves. God def had to give them some reminders along the way because even though he had shown them before, they needed more confirmations. Doubt can creep up in these seasons. It is important to have those reminders of the evidence of how God showed up before. Sometimes we are reminded by God and sometimes people remind us.
Be honest with your journey. You can uncover more when youre honest with yourself. How can you pray about something you won't bring to the table. God can deal with your shame and judgment. This year decide to be "unapologetically" intentional about giving God the real emotions, so he can guide you and heal the hurt.
To hear more on my journey, on that season of traveling to the promise land. Check out my YouTube video: Faith Roller Coaster of 2022
To have a song to remind you of God's evidence: Evidence
I love you.
Just in case no one told you this today: You matter, I see your progress, & You are WAY stronger
than you think!