Each relationship has something that makes it unique. It's beautiful to hear the reasons why people got together and stayed together! Marriage is not only a destination, but a lifelong journey. You have to make conscious choices each and every day to do things that support the marriage. Doing things that creates joy, love, and bring you closer together.
A common mis-conception is that once you are married that you no longer have to date. Honestly, that is bad advice. When you interview for a job promotion you don’t just stop working once you get it. You need to work on it to maintain it. The same goes for your relationship. This is someone you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Put in the effort to love and build with one another. The less you invest, the easier it will be to grow apart and just become roommates in a house.
Life gets increasingly difficult when you add more variables to it. Some people decide to have children, pets, hobbies, side hustles on top of their normal “9-5.” Even if you don't have all of these extra curricular activities, life still has a lot going on. Each day you have to choose what you are going to prioritize. Put it on your schedule. It makes it easier to stick to something when you have it on both of your schedules. Set alarms, get sitters, dress up and go have a great evening out.
Who plans it?
Alternate planning the date nights. This gives both of you an opportunity to show one another a different perspective on fun events. This relieves the pressure on being only on one person and/or the one person getting upset that “we always do what you want to do.” You can have a jar full of ideas and pull it out of a jar the week before(to accurately plan) or just have your solo plan and surprise your spouse!
Life changes us, whether we acknowledge it or not. What you liked or needed 5 years or 5 months ago may not reflect your current season. When you take time to date one another, as if you were first dating you get to see collect new information. It can be on the basic level of foods, hobbies, to beliefs, love languages, and intimate topics. If we stay stuck that their perspective will never change is admitting that we will stay trapped in the same mentality of years ago. That no external or internal factor can change who we are; LIES. How do the new versions of you two connect? Look at different ways to communicate with one another.
Return on investment
The return on investment is that you will have more peace and joy in your home. You are not only focusing on the mundane parts of life, but creating new exciting memories. If you focus just on the stressors of life, your relationship becomes more about that. When you date, you have something else to talk about! It will create a stronger bond and in turn a better relationship. Hello, I actually want to LIKE the person i'm with. This trickles into other areas of your life. If you have children they will have an example of pouring into a relationship. When you’re not so focused on the bad at home you can excel at work and on other hobbies you have.
When you’re married a benefit is your intimate relationship with your spouse. Intimacy with your mind and body. The more you get to trust and know one another the greater it will impact your sex life. You will start to desire your spouse even more because you are adding that excitement of dating back into your marriage. You bring the mysterious, spontaneous, and joyful part of the relationship back on the table. When you are happy outside of the bedroom, you best believe that’ll affect what goes on behind those closed doors!!
In conclusion, go date your spouse. Build a long lasting relationship by choosing to keep things
fresh. Life is much more interesting when you embrace new experiences. Plus, it makes it more fulfilling when you do it with the one you love!