8 things I learned in my 20's

I am a few days away from turning 30! Many times people ask how were your 20's or how do you feel turning 30, so I thought I would share. My twenties were full of many great things and many things that shook my world in ways I thought I would not have to face. Life is full of surprises!

Give yourself an opportunity to reinvent yourself

Each day is an opportunity to be a better you. I know that may sound cliché, but it is the truth. many times we can get stuck on the loop of our ways of being and thinking. Saying this is how we are destined to be and nothing could change. Yes, there are some things about us that have a big impact and we are destined to be a certain way, but how can you use that for good? Are you allowing limiting beliefs of yourself and how you grew up stop you from evolving. Just because you thought something was ok yesterday, doesn't mean you can't grow and develop a new way of seeing things. You wont like some of the sacrifices for you to change, and some people may not like the better you. Do not stay stuck in a box to make other comfortable all of the time.

If your strayed from the faith, it's ok to find your way back

A life of faith can be affected by EVERYTHING! lol What I've seen is the most impactful situations can make people go to or away from the faith. Biggest impacts Illness, loss (of any kind), people/religion, and abuse. These things can make you question if God is even listening. Why would bad things happen?! We live in an imperfect world, with imperfect people. Pretending that everything is going to go perfectly all of the time would setting us up for disappointment. The world can offer us so many things for "healing" or to have fun. They can be good for the moment, but they might create a bigger mess in the long run. Learning from going to other things instead of God and then creating a relationship with God myself changed things. I had to unlearn things that I had been taught, and then spend time reading the Bible myself. This experience of actually searching for him, instead of heavily relying on what people said religion, my relationship with him, or what things meant took a whole different turn. Because I went to the other side and got a huge taste of life without him I felt more lost and empty. When I shed living the relationship that only others painted and took that time for myself it was a new found world. Even if you have followed God for years, it's like any other relationships. You need to get to know one another again or on a deeper level. Hang out and do different things to experience the new levels of your relationship. People can tell you all about a person, but getting to know them for yourself is a whole diff experience and perspective. Don't get so comfortable in what you were used to that you don't give yourself and God a chance to grow in Love & trust.

Your voice means something

Many times I was told to be quiet or not share my story. For a variety of reasons: It would make someone look bad, it seemed too crazy to be true, someone else's impact was more important than my own, or other reasons. Just because you have gone through some crazy things, that doesn't mean you are meant to always be silent about it. There is a time and place for everything but your voice and experience is important. Your story can help someone and yourself get healing. Just because others didn't believe you, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen or others wont believe you. Keep strong. Know and own your truth.

Make better choices with your health

(Physical and mental) Yes, eating tacos (or burgers) and fries all of the time seems fun, but it will take a toll on your body. Go to the doctor, get your check ups, to help rule out stuff. Do your own research and find natural vitamins (healthy eating) to help maintain and heal your body. Your body is a temple. treat it with respect, because whatever you do to it, it will send it back to you. Taking care of your mental health is vital It impacts all aspects of your life. Get therapy. No it is not "for crazy people," everyone can benefit from it. Take time to rest your mind, take space from the drama, realize what is impact those things and make the adjustments. Get sleep... (I am still improving in this area, check back with me later lol.)

If something "feels off" it probably is

Listen to that gut feeling/ your conscience, also known as the Holy Spirit which is guiding you. We usually have a warning sign that maybe we shouldn't date that person, be friends with someone, stay at that place, drink that beverage, MOVE. There was a time, back in my early 20's that my 2best friends and I wanted to go to a certain club. They all came to my house, we got ready together, did our makeup, looking CUTE! OK. As soon as we were about to leave I had this horrible feeling. I said guys we can't go. They were like STEPHANIE... we just spent 2 hour getting ready you wanted to go there! What in the world. I told them I don't know but I just keep feeling we shouldn't go we needed to stay in. After some time arguing they agreed to stay at my house. The next day my one best friend called me crying and freaking out... She just heard the news that 3 people were killed at the club, in a shooting, we were going to go to last night! YES, you heard that right the same amount of people in our group, and the same place we were going to. She said she wouldn't ever question my gut feelings again no matter how crazy and inconvenient they seemed. I can't take credit for all of that. How many times have you looked back later and said .... I ignored my gut feeling or those red flags, and later paid the consequences?

Just because it didn't happen in your 20's doesn't mean it won't ever happen

That's a heavy statement. Society pushes your twenties as your prime time. It makes little sense to be honest, in this day. Your 20's are the first 10 year of you actually being and ADULT and figuring a lot of stuff out. You're a newbie trying to get great footing on this role. Just because you didn't get that dream job, create your business, get married, have children, lose/gain the weight, or whatever doesn't mean it is over. There are things that may or may not happen, thats the truth. Do not limit it only to a number. It does not make you a failure to not have accomplished these milestones before your 30th or that you are not worthy. If you're saying that... respectfully, stop.

Give yourself an opportunity to flourish in different areas on top of that goal you have. You become so obsessed with this one thing that you discredit and reduce the value of everything else. Come on, we are better than that. We are better than just our accomplishments right!!

Allow yourself to love again (friendship or intimate)

Heartbreaks hurt! Whether they are intimate relationships or friendships, both of those breakups HURT. They take time to heal and trust again. It is not fair to you to stop living your life and experiencing the blessing for friendship or intimate love again because someone hurt you. Take time to heal, but one of the beauties of life is people and the love that can grown within one another. The joy and wisdom that it can bring into our lives. I pray that God send you magnificent people to bless your life. To show you its ok to love again, it's ok to trust again, and you will be able to create marvelous new memories.

Lastly, Love yourself

The world will influence you in every area of your life. How you should look, act, speak, think, what to believe, what is the timetable of your life, and how to love yourself. If you go by society, you may be told attractive is having a certain body part big one day and the next it's ugly and out of trend. You cannot always depend on a worldly source. Learn to love yourself, because the world will give you compliments and starve you the next. People come and go, but you are with yourself for your whole life. Do you want to make everyone else happy and neglect yourself. Neglect that you too are important? If someone that provided you with compliment or love goes away and you don't have it for yourself what happens? Its a dark pit I tell you. It is empty and the void the world tries to fill is like a bottomless pit. Learn to love yourself, all parts of you and give yourself grace for the imperfections. Allow God to teach you how to do it, if you are not there, and I promise you anyone that comes along is just icing on your love cake. <3

SPEAKING OF CAKE...

Now I will run off to get a slice... or two of some birthday cake :)

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Blessings to all! ​

-Stephanie Garcia T