Updated: Mar 1, 2021
The act of healing in any capacity has to be one of the most painful things in life; after the initial pain of course. Healing has the capacity to transcend through all aspects of our lives and body. You can take a tragic moment or change of lifestyle and it could be milked into years of healing! That is insane and incredible.
I like to think of healing as a great delicious apple pie or an onion; for those of you that don’t like pies! You can divide up the pie evenly but still have different layers within that. Layers of crust, apple, cinnamon, sugar, butter and some eggs to hold it all together. Healing layers look like this, processing, coping, support, triggers, growth, and acceptance.
It takes bravery and lots of work to move through the stages of healing. Let’s begin!
Processing-Take some time for yourself to be able to do some inner examination. What thoughts are going through your head? Why? What are you feeling in this moment and revisit this same question once you have calmed down. Example. A needed change of diet due to new health issues. You can feel frustrated. A new routine, realization of your responsibility in this, and the investment of resources to make this work. These are a few things just stemming from one incident. It isn’t always just the initial item that frustrates you; it's those deep dive questions that will have you come into new realizations. *A reminder just because someone else moved fast processing their emotions that does not mean you have to do the same.
Coping-How do you deal with the shift in life or experience of trauma? Doing things just to mask the pain won't help in the long run. You will just bury the emotions and they will erupt later! You will give yourself more work to do in the end. Just thinking about the negative won't help either. There are many different resources. There is therapy can help you organize thoughts and emotions. Also, you can create some plans of action. You can journal your emotions out, even the ones you haven't fully comprehended. It may bring out more things than you think. Take time to have some fun, self care, create new memories and pray.
Support- Having the right support can help make your process easier. Giving you emotional boosts and being there for you when you need it most. They can offer some insight on the situation. It can rip the bandaid and get you on your way of taking care of some wounds the proper way. Our friends and family know many parts of us. They can revive parts of us that were hidden because of the pain. Let’s bring the joy back!
Trigger Warning ⚠️ - OHHH Triggers! They are instances of people, places, or things that reignite thoughts or feelings within us due to a situation. These things can either cause you to temporarily relapse or bring you some insight on where you need to do more work. Triggers can be good, if you look at it from always wanting to grow. We cannot stay trapped in fear and anger! When you notice you have been triggered, accept that the trigger happened and then try to think what does this trigger attach to? What does it stem from in the past; especially in your childhood. How can I improve this? How can I redefine this trigger. Attach something good to that trigger or say just because XYZ happened to me, that does not mean every time I get triggered that will happen again. You have control to change the narrative. Get the help you need to help deal with the triggers. these is nothing wrong with that. I've had to do it myself. I got attacked once and for years I would physically hurt some people if they approached me from behind. It was a PROBLEM! With therapy, inner work and the assistance of friends I was able to get through it. I may be small, but I packed a punch! whoops. Thank God for growth.
Growth- You can take all things as losses or turn them into lessons. What did you learn about yourself and the situation? Please write down the good and the bad about you and the situation or other parties involved. Being one sided, blinds you from your areas that you need to work on. We are all imperfect, but we also bring good to this world too. Think about how you have evolved through this. Explore and create a better version of you! You are not forced to stay the same. Get that INNER GLOW UP!
Acceptance-This is the last part of the process, my personal favorite. This is when you can visit a place and say yes this happened, but I know this has no power over me anymore. You don’t cry, retaliate, retreat, or have a whole vent session about the same thing. You can see your ex-best friend and just notice them as a fellow human. They exist and y’all had memories together, but things have changed and you are OK with that. I’ll give you with one of my favorite scriptures that help me accept things that happen. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
The part I always struggle with in the process is giving myself grace throughout it all. I have improved, but knowing that I am working hard at getting better each and every day. This is a journey not a magic trick. All of these layers coming together with patience and hard work will create a great pie or lots of healing! I believe that you will get through whatever you are going through! Now go get yourself some pie and lots of healing! :)
PS. if you want more in depth tips. my friend and I did a video on healing in your brokenness.
Just in case no one told you this today:
I see your progress,
& You are WAY stronger than you think!