Updated: Feb 14, 2021
Hello wonderful people,
We have 3 weeks left in 2020. We all know that this year has been full of a roller coaster of emotions. Depending on the time, we have had things to celebrate and other things to cry about. I pray that you are all making room to feel your emotions. I can tell you from experience that bottling up all of your emotions is just a recipe for disaster. You overflow with negative emotion, explode, or try to drown/numb our emotions. Doing self check in is vital to remain healthy. On the airline safety training they say you have to put your mask on first before you help others. That is what we are going to do today! (sorry to my travel addicts that miss traveling as much as I do!)
We are going to work on building that INNER strength.
Here are some tips to help you through your tough time
Ask for help when you really need it ---> there are some people that want to help and have the ability to help. Checking to see if they have the capacity to help in this time before asking but, also honoring if they are honest and say that they can't. Not everyone is closed off and unreliable.
Stop over-explaining--> This is something I am still developing a skill in. There are people that should know and there are people that do not deserve that access to you or certain information. Things are going to happen in your life and not everyone deserves a play by play. At times people try to influence their opinions on what you are/are not doing but you have made your decision. Over explaining to defend your case is not always needed. Examine the situation. Does this person need this information or no? Do I trust them with this information or no? Am I over explaining as a trauma response because I need to be seen/heard/or trusted because people in my past did not do those things.
Boundaries ---> This is with yourself and others. This gif is the face I make when people are crossing mine.lol. You can set boundaries, but make sure you enforce them. Takers will have no end to how much they take so you must know when to cap it. You're not mean for expressing what you will not allow. You are stewarding what is yours. That is your time, your money/resources, your personal and physical space, your ENERGY, your gifts/talents, etc. Know when any of your internal batteries are running low and express what you can do. Be mindful of you just comes to take and who never gives in return.
Express yourself--> writing, talking, or an artistic project (art, building, dancing, singing, acting). Find ways to let what is within you out. You many not know if one of these solutions work for you unless you try. Let me tell you, you do not have to be good at these things for them to be helpful. Dance in front of your mirror letting all your emotions out. The moves do not have to make sense, but if you want some guidance watch a youtube video on some dancing you want to learn. We are expressive beings. Even if you are quiet your body needs a way to let the emotions out! I am not a great painter... I have painted some ugly things when I have been angry or upset, but I felt so much better afterwords. I'm ok with that. Not everything is to be posted on IG or broadcasted as a work you did.
Professional help---> If the people around you can't help you in the area you are struggling in or are complaining about it, find help with professionals. Whats great about this is that you are paying them for a service and they have to help. They work in this field because they enjoy what they do. . Sometimes its hiring a cleaning service to help (deep) clean your home and catch up on what you have not had the time, strength, or ability to do. I am hispanic and our culture values doing everything ourselves this resembles "what you are made of." Why would you pay someone to clean your house?--- People go out to eat and pay someone else to cook their food. Many of these people know how to cook or have food at home. There are times you need assistance and it comes in different forms. For me, I could hire a personal chef I WOULD!
Therapy--> I highly believe in having a good mental health provider. Finding a professional that fits your needs. You may need a therapist to talk things out with our you may need a psychologist to administer medication. Speak with your doctor on which path to take. Therapy is like having someone untangle the Christmas lights (your thoughts) in your brain. They help you find the good bulbs (thoughts) and help you replace them with better ones.
Finances---> write everything out that you have in your checking and saving account(s).
Write down all of your bills and expenses. This includes your monthly shopping splurges and buying food out to eat. That adds up. What can you cut down? What part of your lifestyle can you not really afford to keep because you need to pay XYZ or are saving for certain goals. Be realistic with your spending. Not looking at your bank account wont make the number look any better.(This is a coping mechanism I used many times lol). Be honest on how you are helping and hurting yourself and what kind of assistance you may need. Do you need a payment plan for a certain bill? Do you need to freeze your card? Can you ask for an extension? Don't let pride have you drown because you asked for help. Go to your bank and see if the personal banker has any tips to assist you. Have accountability, if you haven't built that self discipline partner with someone that has so they can check up on you.
Take a break--> sometimes we just need a few days of NO WORK. Just enjoying life. I would love to fly to Bali right now and get pampered at a 5 star over water bungalow. In reality that cannot happen for me at the moment (one day it will, but not 2020 lol). What can you do to honor your space and get some relaxing time that is different from just binging on shows? Go to the park, the beach, do a puzzle, go to the spa, etc. I do not know what relaxes you. Take some time to hideout in your car a little longer if you cant get away. This is/was something I love to do. Just relax and listen to music or a book. Taking a break doesn't make you weak, it shows your strength and ability to recognize what your need for your personal business (your body).
Lastly, watch something that recharges your soul. If you need a spiritual hug + your heart to be hugged here are two worship experiences that did that for me
Have an amazing week!! You've got this.
Just in case no one told you today...
I see your progress
& you are way stronger
than you think.